What Confucius Can Teach You About Living a Happier Life

What Confucius Can Teach You About Living a Happier Life


“It is better to play than do nothing.”

“Men’s natures are alike; it is their habits that separate them.”


“Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change.”


About 2500 years ago there lived a man called Confucius. He was Chinese philosopher and thinker and has had a big influence on life and thought systems in countries like China, Korea and Japan for a long, long time. His teachings became the system of philosophy called Confucianism.


Today I’d like to share a few of my favorite happiness tips from Confucius.

What goes around, comes around.


“What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others.”


A very simple rule for how life often works. The Law of Reciprocity is strong in people. How you treat others, they are likely to treat you. So be honest and think about what you do to others and what they are doing to you. And think about how you can change and improve what you do to them.


The payoff may not be instant though. So let go of your need for instant gratification and continue to act in a way that you feel is right rather than quickly giving up doing positive things just because you didn’t get validation and positive feedback right away.

You have to do to understand.


“I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.”

This is a key piece of advice. It’s easy to confuse what you read in a book or see happen to someone else as having an idea of how it is to do or experience such a thing for yourself. Sometimes it gives you a good idea of what it is about. Other times it’s quite different than you thought it would be.

So while books and seeing someone doing something can be useful, the key to really understanding what something is about is to do it yourself. You can argue with yourself or others about an idea for years. Have logical discussions and theories. But until you actually try it for yourself you won’t understand it.


Shoot for something.


"If you shoot for the stars and hit the moon, it’s OK. But you’ve got to shoot for something. A lot of people don’t even shoot.”

The most important thing is to start and to do. You may fail, you may stumble. And that’s OK. You may not wind up exactly where you wanted to go. And that’s OK too.


But if you don’t try then nothing will ever get started. You’ll probably just spend days, months and years sitting around waiting for something to happen.

Focus on what you want.


“The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will be his world and the world at large.”

What you focus on, you will see in your world. Changing what you think about most of the time can change the world around you radically. Things you never noticed before come into focus. Things you previously spent a lot of time thinking and worrying about seem insignificant and sink into the background of your world.

And your actions tend to align with your dominant thoughts. So if you replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts then you will probably start to take more positive action in your world and so you world tends to become a better world. This can of course spread outside your own little world since people tend to treat other people as they are being treated. And so a positive, upward spiral of thought and action can grow.

Let go of the past.


“To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.”


“Things that are done, it is needless to speak about…things that are past, it is needless to blame.”

People can hold on to things that have happened long, long after they happened. One reason for that is that it inflates the ego. If you have or have had important problems then well, you must be a person of importance. Or so you can tell yourself and others to gain sympathy and attention.


So you feel a sense of importance by bringing these past things up in your mind and perhaps by discussing or arguing with others about them. This may be seen as normal and something a whole lot of people do. But it is not useful. It is not necessary. You get some pleasure out of it but in the end it always leads to a lot more misery and suffering.

So ask yourself: “what is in it for me?”. Or: “who cares?”.

Is it really a lot of value in it for you to be thinking and feeling negatively for perhaps hours each week about things that is already in the past, things you can’t change anyway?

Now, just saying that you should drop negative stuff that happened to you in the past is easy. Doing it isn’t always that easy. These memories have a tendency to want to cling to you. Or jump out at you once again even though you thought you had moved past them.

But with time, they can become less and less frequent visitors. Until one day, you may even have forgotten about them altogether.

Delay the impulse and avoid the consequences.


“When anger rises, think of the consequences.”


No matter if you train your mind, you are still human and in the heat of the moment it’s easy to take less helpful path. In those moments it’s good to look into the future. It is easy to get lost in the anger and act based upon that. But is it worth it? And what may happen if you do?

When anger rises, take 10 breaths and think about that.


You are here.


“And remember, no matter where you go, there you are.”


It’s easy to get lost in the past or future. But you aren’t there now. You are right here right now. Most of the moments you spend thinking and feeling about the past or future is simply you being stuck in an unnecessary habit and it is a distraction from what is here in front of you.


So return to where you are right now by focusing on your breathing for a minute or two. Or by focusing on what is in front of you and around you right now. Then be where you are.


Recognize the simplicity of life.


“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.”

The mind loves to think. So it thinks and thinks about things. Making them more and more complex than they ever really were. And so you bog yourself down with too many thoughts and perhaps a lack of action due to things just seeming too complicated and hard.

Don’t get lost in details and unimportant things. Realize what is most important in your life and discard what you don’t need.


Then spend more time and energy on the important things in your life. And stop thinking so much and instead take action to gain a better understanding of life and of yourself.

~by Henrik Edberg

40 Things Every Woman Must Know About Men, Love, Sex and Relationships

Most women learn about men, love, sex and relationships the hard way. They walk down the highly traveled, worn out path of emotional scars, broken hearts, abuse, confusion, anger and sleepless nights. When it comes to learning the hard way, you can get to know a great deal about men, love, sex and relationships, but most women who have traveled that path will tell you, “The price is too high and the consequences and lingering effects are way to painful!” Smart women understand this irrefutable truth. 

They know there is an easier less complicated way to obtain the vital information they need to know about the opposite sex. Ladies, these 40 nuggets of wisdom and sage advice will help set you on the right path to finding and experiencing true love. Share these life-saving truths with every woman you know. They will forever thank you!

1. There are two types of males: Dishonorable males and honorable men. Don’t date or marry until you know how to tell the difference between the two! The woman in the mirror will graciously thank you.

2. Honorable men are protectors. They will guard your heart, protect your emotions, defend your honor and stand as champions for your spiritual, mental and physical well-being; choose an honorable man and choose life!
3. You are not a car; if you meet a man who wants to test drive your physical body, emotions and feelings, point him to a car dealership, bid him adieu and don’t look back!
4. This is a true saying: “The soul of a woman is fragile.” Please note: dishonorable males refuse to respect this crucial truth. They will toy with a woman’s emotions without any semblance of concern or compassion. Therefore YOU must guard your heart from these cold-hearted males with all diligence.
5. Good men need to be treated like good men, dishonorable males, need to be let go and left alone!
6. OK ladies; you’ve met this great guy, but he’s got a child or children for which he does not take care of, provide for or see to. Follow these instructions to the letter: urgently send him back to the mother(s) of his child(ren) and don’t look back. Don’t make the same mistake the mother(s) of his child(ren) did!
7. Dishonorable males treat sex as a sport, females as trophies and children they sire as wastepaper. Never allow yourself to become their next score, mantle piece or sperm repository.
8. Women who hold grudges, seek vengeance, cling to bitterness and are unwilling to forgive, unwittingly break their own hearts!
9. Choose the wrong mate and you might as well have laid next to a boa constrictor or grabbed the ears of a raging mad pit bull. A smart woman learns how to choose her mate wisely!
10. Heed the sage advice of some caring brothers and honorable men. If he doesn’t fit - don’t force him, just relax and let him go. Destiny is on your side… TRUE LOVE will find you!
11. Momma’s boys belong with only one type of woman; their moms! Ladies, these mothers and their sons will never cut their grotesque umbilical cord. Therefore, for your sake, leave them alone and just let them trot home to their mommies.
12. Self-love: if you don’t have it, pull yourself off the market. Make no mistake about it, if you don’t love yourself, NO MAN can ever love you… no matter how great a man he is.
13. Don’t judge ALL men by one man’s actions; unless you want ALL men to judge you based on the acts of amoral women.
14. Most women learn how to choose a mate the hard way; they go through a gut wrenching string of emotionally detached males, jerks, pimps, thugs and players. Don’t become one of those heart broken and bitter women! Learn how to properly choose a mate before it’s too late! The woman in the mirror will graciously thank you.
15. You wondering, “If I move in with him, is he going to marry me?” Answer: “Not likely!” Don’t believe it, take these two critical tests: (a). Ask any honorable man! And, (b). Examine the ever-growing list of disillusioned women who are begrudgingly waiting for their non-committal live-in lovers to pop the big question.
16. Do you keep attracting men who are dogs? Check the scent you’re putting out. Men who are dogs are attracted by scent!
17. You are not a man! Therefore, you will never be: a role model for men, a father figure, a man’s mentor or a man’s coach. If a man has lacked proper male leadership in his life, kindly send him on his way. Know for a certainty; he is not prepared for the responsibilities that come with love, sex, relationship and marriage.
18. If you don’t know what a misogynistic man is, take this time to check your dictionary. For your sake, sanity and safety, avoid these treacherous males at all costs.
19. Don’t ever delude yourself! Your beauty, fine body, sexual prowess, cooking skills, femininity and vibrant personality will never be enough to change a man, NEVER!
20. If your potential mate does such things as: promises to call you but doesn’t, makes dates and breaks them, shows up late or plays games with your emotions; take notes ladies... those are clear cut warning signs that he DOES NOT value you, he DOES NOT love you and he DOES NOT care about you!
21. Angry, bitter, hostile, combative, unforgiving single women, become: angry, bitter, hostile and combative, unforgiving wives.
22. A fundamental understanding and respect of the male ego is a must for all women who want a vibrant and healthy love; DO NOT obtain this crucial information from dishonorable males or from angry bitter women.
23. If you choose to be with dishonorable males, pimps, players, thugs, ballers and shot callers, you have absolutely no right to complain when they torch your emotions, abuse you, leave you pregnant and alone, jeopardize your safety and otherwise harm or hurt you. Remember, you have freedom of choice and you chose to be with them!
24. When a man is trying to find himself, kindly bid him adieu… PERMANENTLY! He can find you, but can’t find himself? He shouldn’t be looking for love… he should be searching for the map to Mastering Manhood!
25. OK; he wants or is demanding sex but you are not his wife. Write this down: There is no need to wonder, debate or contemplate: he DOES NOT honor or respect you!
26. Spoiled women are like spoiled milk, spoiled meat, spoiled fruit spoiled bread and spoiled brats. Get the picture? Don’t become a spoiled woman!
27. Expecting a dishonorable male to do the honorable thing is like expecting piranhas not to devour you if you make the mistake of diving into their water.
28. You’ve asked these questions, “Why doesn’t he call me more often? Why doesn’t he pursue me more diligently and why doesn’t he show me that he loves me?” Answer; he’s not into you! If you don’t let him go and move on with your life, you will allow him to hinder or block your true love from finding you!
29. All men ARE NOT dogs! Don’t believe, repeat or perpetuate that rampant lie! You will hamper your ability to see and discern the good men who cross your path!
30. Some males like to hit women. It gives them a sense of power and control. If you give yourself to one of these abusive males, most assuredly you will become a punching bag and a floor mat. It is critical that you learn how to detect and avoid these cretins!
31. Promiscuous immoral women are not worthy of an honorable man. They never have been and they never will be.
32. Never allow emotionally embittered women to influence you concerning the male gender. If you do, their hatred and unforgiveness will become yours. Soon you will find yourself suspicious, indignant and angry at all men.
33. You were not designed, built or destined for abuse, whether: emotionally, physically or financially. If he is an abuser, there is no need to deliberate… he IS NOT the one; leave him now!
34. Some women live their lives vicariously through the women on “Girlfriends, Sex In The City and Desperate Housewives.” Don’t become one of these women. If you do, you will make a literal mess of your life, emotions, physical body and well-being.
35. When a man truly loves you, he will honor and respect you. If he doesn't… don’t deceive yourself and don’t allow him to defraud you; he DOES NOT love OR care about you!
36. Everyone has skeletons in their closet? Wrong! Not everyone has skeletons in their closet. Don’t start putting any in yours!
37. There is a vast difference between sex and love. Most men know the difference and you had better learn it fast! If you fail or refuse to do so, you are surely headed for relationship or marital crash and burn.
38. Don’t deceive yourself, once you have sex with a man who is not your husband… he may never admit it, but he has lost a degree of respect for you. Don’t believe it? Ask any honorable man or virtuous woman.
39. The dismal cycle of breaking up and making up only works out in the romance novels, television shows and movies. If you are riding that emotional roller coaster get off right now! Your heart, mind and soul will forever thank you.
40. Nothing is more beautiful, captivating, attractive and sensual than a woman with a gentle and peaceable spirit! 

By Gillis Triplett  

"How to Become a Stronger, More Independent Woman"....hhhmmm

In No Particular Order.....

1. Get a solid education that will result in work that pays well, or get training that offers solid, marketable skills for work that pays well. Financial independence is vital.

2. Learn about different types of investments and how to invest wisely. Being able to pay the rent is one thing. Building wealth is another.

3. Know how to make the most of your appearance, because confidence comes from looking your best. You need to confidence to be selective about which men you date or marry, and you need confidence to walk away if the relationship turns unhealthy. You need confidence to make your way in the work world; but, most of all, perhaps, you need confidence to - every once in a while - be brave enough to say, "Hey - I'm right, and the world is wrong."

4. Be someone who knows, in your heart, that you are a person of integrity. Knowing you have integrity leads to solid self-esteem, and solid self-esteem is important in being independent and/or strong. If you don't have solid integrity decide to figure out how to develop it.

5. Think like a judge. Don't accept information for which you have no solid evidence.

6. Think like a scientist. Seek out answers yourself.

7. Think like a mathematician. Use logic.

8. Define who and what you are for yourself. Don't allow others to define who/what you are, and don't allow media or society determine what you ought to be.

9. Know your abilities and potential - and think of them whenever you doubt yourself.

10. Decide you will make yourself into the kind of person you like. If there are things about your inner self you don't like decide to change them.

11. Understand that healthy relationships involving wanting to be with the other person - not needing them.

12. Be someone who has interests in life and in the world. Interests make a life and a person more whole; and being more whole means being more independent and strong.

13. Aim to gain your power from your own strengths - not your own or others' weaknesses. Power built on weaknesses collapses. Power built on your own strength is built on a solid foundation.

14. Care about other people. People who don't care about other people are not whole, and you can't be independent and strong if you're not whole.

15. Don't try to imitate men. Men haven't always gotten things right; but even when they do, their way may not be the best way or the only way. Decide you will show the world what women are capable of.

By: Lisa HW (random website)

~Randomness~

Thoughts: There is no person on this earth that should ever expect someone to change to be the way "they" want them to be if they are not willing to change themselves. Life is full of surprises. CHOCOLATE and WINE can be the most healing of all vices. I love my family and friends. I have missed home for the past 15 years I have been gone. Now, I miss my friends in Longview, TX. I love anything that smells good. Life is what YOU make it. Time does heal all wounds. I have had the same BEST FRIEND (besides my sister) for 25 years (love ya, Kristy Len). This is a SMALL world. I have the greatest family in the world. My brother and sister are two of my heroes. Honesty is the best policy. My cup is ALWAYS half FULL. Optimism gets you further than pessimism. Most of the time I am happy and content and the rest of the time, I am just PMS-ing (ask anyone who knows me). Wine makes me giggly. I try too hard (sometimes) to please people I love ~ when I know I should just stop trying so hard and let it be. What happens, happens. There is no amount of begging or pleading that will stop it. There is no ultimatum worth giving. Asking for someone's forgiveness is and should be harder than asking permission. When you feel like you will have to ask for forgiveness after doing something, then maybe you should reconsider doing it in the first place. Sisters do share a VERY SPECIAL bond. Brothers are the best "guys" to get advice from about guys (well, mine is anyway). Laughter is the best medicine. Trust is hard to gain, but easy to lose ~ and harder to get back each time it is broken. Some things are better left unsaid. People should not have expectations of others, when they do not have expectations of themselves. Standards are good. Being a bitch does not mean people will respect you. I can be funny when I least expect it. Life has a weird way of working things out. God truly is GREAT, beer really is good and people can be very crazy. I love my best friends' family ~ they are my family #2. Some people are FAKE. Some people may seem fake, until you get to know them. Some people are 100% genuine. I am 100% TEXAN ~ the greatest country on earth (;-). Texans are the most proud people of their state, just ask us, we'll tell you. I am a country girl at heart. I love SWEET TEA and truly believe I cannot live without it. If I were stuck on a desert island and could only have 5 things ~ those things would be: sweet tea, ice cream, lip gloss, mascara, and flip flops. I LOVE KENNY CHESNEY, GEORGE STRAIT and JIMMY BUFFETT